Control explains everything

Sometimes I just feel like I was born to be an observer. Actually I feel like this more often that I feel like I have to do something in life. The whole world just is around to be observed and admired. Not really understood, but you don't need to understand something to admire its beauty.

Beauty comes in the unexpected results you get from something you don't do, or what other people do, when something different happens in their lives. For example, get a poor person and give this person a US$100,000 check. It is amazing to see what happens to this person's personality at this point on, until it goes back to its initial state (yes, most lottery winners are back to being poor right now). It's like a plant in control systems that you throw a pulse or a step and learn how to model it based on its response. The most important thing is not to do anything. You step back and study the result...

I don't have much more to say. Work is killing me, and research is always lagging behind. Today I realized the reason why I don't really want to talk to anybody: I am ashamed to tell them that I still haven't finished my Ph.D.! It's depressing the fact that I'm loosing track on the date that I will finish it. But it will be done! It will be done! I just have to stop looking at other people and concentrate on my things.